What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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