i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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