My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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