i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
