I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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