Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
