Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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