Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
