"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
