my soul wont recognize me after tonight
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
