Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
