i just had sex bonerless
He told me they were just razor bumps!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
