I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
