My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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