You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
