Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
3 2 1 whiskey
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
