I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
