I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
