I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
