Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
