went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
