Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
thus making me awesome and them whores
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
