I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
