Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize