You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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