Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I wear drunk well.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
