he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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