Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Randomize
