Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
