somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
