Whatcha textin bout Willis?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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