Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize