I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
