thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
