dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
