Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
