Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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