so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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