He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
