I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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