i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
