At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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