So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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