I got chris browned last night
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
