I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
