So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
