So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
