She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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