Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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