I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
