just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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