hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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