its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
