If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
