White coat. Heels.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
