My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
