So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
