Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
