clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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