We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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