dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
