My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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