i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
