I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
