It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize