4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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