Just fell off a train. Bad.
two words: eviction party
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize