Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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